i don't like war

i'm not pro-war. i don't stand with the president on a whole lot of things, one of which is the war in iraq. but one thing i really hate is when the media twists what is really going on there, and gives us the impression that iraqis hate americans, and that they were better off under saddam hussein.

in my short trip, i saw the kurdish people flourishing in their new-found freedom. construction is everywhere as they finally at least feel safe to rebuild their lives again. their is hope in their eyes. the oppression these people faced was awful - at least 2,500 villages were leveled, most by massive gas bombs. at the kurdish textile museum, there are rooms full of pictures of children strewn across the street, dead and eyes open, killed in the middle of a soccer game by a bomb. mothers carrying their babies, trying to flee the villages, lay dead alongside the roads, babies still in their arms.

maybe we didn't find weapons of mass destruction, but that doesn't mean everything else was okay. iranians still pour across the border in the name of jihad, trying to preserve the name of Allah.

i hate war. i believe there are more peaceful solutions, but i don't want to argue, or even calmly debate this. good things are happening in iraq. God is moving there in ways i have never seen or felt before. on Easter, the pope said that nothing good is happening in iraq. clearly he's never been.

who am i, that You are mindful of me?

Preface
I began a 40-day fast on June 1. I tell you this not to boast, but to clue you in on my state of mind over the past 33 days. Hopefully this post will communicate that it has not been easy, and God has often felt very far. Yesterday, I felt God near, and this is what came out.

7/2/07 - Zen Cha Tea Salon - Day 32

"Is hope really all that hard to come by? I don't think so. Our hope is for the Desire of nations. Our hope is the Healer of broken hearts, the Friend of sinners, the God of all encouragement, the Father of all comfort, the Lord of all hope. And it is my prayer that they eyes of your heart might be enlightened so that you might know this hope to which he has called you."
Joni Eareckson Tada, Suffering and the Sovereignty of God

I feel like this puts the past 32 days in perfect perspective. I have been totally miserable, and I have felt like You were distant, that this fast has been pointless. But I have felt Your breath on my face, You are so near. I have felt like my soul was abandoned, and then Your voice broke through, reassuring me that You never left. I have clung fiercely to the truth that You sing over me, that You are forever with me, even when my heart did not believe it.

You have whispered Your love to me in the darkest hour. You have made Yourself, the Desire of nations, the Desire of my heart. You saved me for Your name's sake, not because of any merit within myself. Glory is Yours for the joy in my heart.

Romans 8:18,19
For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us. For the anxious longing of creation waits eagerly for the revealing of the sons of God.