if you're looking for something deep...

you won't find it here.

in keeping with my own ADD nightmare, i like to write in small, comprehensible-ish paragraphs, trying to keep my reader's (and my own) attention. if you're a carryover from the previous blog, you know my fondness for bullet points. i'm thinking they may be tacky, so i'm trying out small paragraphs.

working at the girl scouts has been a scary warning to me: let bitterness take root, and you will become like these women who surround you. true to the stereotype of my gender, i tend to hold grudges. i'd like to think i don't hold as many as most women, but i have them, and when i do, they are fierce. but seeing these middle-aged, mean, gossipy women has been a not-so-subtle rebuke.

i do not want to work here permanently. i have an interview for a job this week that i REALLY want, which would require me becoming a vegetarian, wearing only all-natural fibers, and attending every anti-war rally in the midwest.

a song by regina spektor has been in my head for days now. all i can think of is the melodic, simple piano in the background, and how i wish i could sit in a room all by myself and belt it out and play and all my problems would disappear.

catching my breath

from a cubicle at the girl scouts in columbus, i'm trying to figure out exactly what went wrong. there's no one to blame, no fingers to point, yet my mind can't rest without finding a reason that everything fell.

the next chapter of life is full of unwritten stories. instead of being paralyzed by the fear of the unknown, my heart is racing with freedom, excited to find something new to pour my heart into. God has been gracious to use the past year of my life to intensify a deep passion to see people of the world know Him - the healing, hope, and freedom in who He is, not what He brings.

but what good is a song if i write it? Jesus has written this song in my heart, and i sing it back to Him. my heart beats for only Him. that doesn't change, whether i'm organizing events for young girls, moving to uganda, or returning to iraq for the rest of my life.

despite the millions of things that have changed in my life just in the past month, He has never, and will never, change. and that's the only thing i'm sure of.